


Human

by iwillrunforever



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Breakup, Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:34:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22942606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwillrunforever/pseuds/iwillrunforever
Summary: Complicated is too simple a word to explain the relationship between you and the Master. But perhaps he doesn’t hate you that much.
Relationships: The Master (Dhawan)/Reader
Comments: 20
Kudos: 98





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My boyfriend dumped me. This is my self-pity fic. Just FYI. Might be OOC, but this is more for me tbh.

Travelling with the Master was… strange, to say the least. You had been a friend of the Doctor’s a long time ago. After a close-call with the Weeping Angels, you had both decided that it would be better for you to go home. Safer. And it was. Until the Master came calling. He was from your Doctor’s future, a few regenerations after the Master who became prime minister. And, as usual, he was looking for the Doctor. And a hostage was always useful.

Technically you were his prisoner. And at first, it had certainly felt like that, as he dragged you around time and space looking for her, always a step out of sync with her adventures. You hated him with every facet of your being. He had dragged you away from your home, made you feel as though you were constantly being held at gunpoint, took his anger and frustration out on you. You guessed he wanted your fear. But you wouldn’t let him have it. You hid everything away under a façade of cool indifference, sarcasm, and over-confidence. Just like the Doctor would. You weren’t sure if it worked. The Master did know the Doctor better than anyone; if anyone could see through her tactics, it would be him. If he did, he didn’t let on.

As time went on, your relationship became less captor and prisoner and more… there wasn’t quite a word for it. You guessed you might say reluctant companions. It wasn’t an immediate change. You couldn’t say when it happened, but you were pretty sure it started when he let you wander his TARDIS on your own while he had his daily meltdown. Of course, most of the doors were locked, and you didn’t stray too far in case you got lost in the endless halls, but you did find a massive library. Artwork from every era lined the walls between towering bookshelves, desks were hidden in alcoves, the floor cluttered with rugs. It was lit warmly with candles. Somehow, despite the size of the room, it was cosy. Reaching out you pulled a book off of a shelf without looking and, finding a soft armchair in a closed-off corner, you curled up with it.

You didn’t realise how long you had been there until you heard him shouting your name. He came into the room, muttering pointless threats. It took him grabbing the book out of your hands to draw your attention away. Your eyes widened in surprise and fear as he glared down at you.  
“And what do you think you’re doing?” You scrambled to your feet, tripping on the cushions, to stand in front of him.  
“I was just reading,” You protested, trying to snatch the book back, but he held it out of your reach.  
“Back to the console room. Now.” He ordered, turning to leave without checking that you were following. You weren’t. He seemed to realise this by the time he got to the door, as he sighed and stood for a moment, his shoulders tensing, before he looked back around. “What?”  
“I’m not a child. Don’t talk to me like one.”  
“You’re a human. Practically the same thing.” You rolled your eyes at him but followed anyway.  
“Can I at least get the book back?” You chanced. He glanced at you, disbelief in his eyes, and almost chuckled. He handed you the now slightly bent book which you took quickly before the two of you went back to the console room. After that, you spent a lot of time in the library. And he didn’t ever mention it or ban you. A coffee machine appeared, a cupboard of blankets. It was probably just the TARDIS. Probably.

You started to actually spend time in the places you visited, rather than just making a mad dash through whatever place the TARDIS brought you to, looking fruitlessly for the Doctor. He still insisted that you were his captive – he had to. But you liked to think he hated you slightly less than everyone else.

And then your world fell apart around you. Or at least it felt like it. He took you home. “Not permanently,” He insisted, “Just for a visit. You can grab some things.” It had technically only been two hours since he’d taken you. For everyone else at least. While you were packing a bag, your phone buzzed next to you. You grabbed it casually, checked the message like you did all the time, completely average.

**We need to talk.  
We need to break up.**

The rest of the message was a blur. The phone fell out of your hand. You watched it spin as it fell to the floor and bounced on the carpet. The screen still bright. You were shaking. You couldn’t think. Couldn’t feel anything but the pain, the aching in your chest. Your head buzzed with white noise. You moved automatically, scooping your phone into your bag and hooking it over your shoulder. Out of your flat, down the stairs, out of the door. The TARDIS wasn’t far away, disguised as an old car. You still weren’t used to the working chameleon circuit. Your feet carried you inside. The Master was stood at the console, watching the screens intently.  
“That was quick.” The comment was a throwaway. No answer required. Usually, you would have made a joke, some sarcastic comment, but not today. Not now. You walked past him, dumping your bag onto the ground and retreating to the door that lead further inside as your emotions started to take over and tears began to fall. “Stop.” You stuttered on your feet, battling between the want, the need to be alone and the survival instinct that told you if you didn’t listen you’d be in big trouble. Survival won out. You turned around, hurriedly swiping at your cheeks, keeping your head down. No eye contact. Or you would break. “What’s wrong?” He sighed. Glancing up for a split second you saw that he had stepped back from the console, head resting in one hand with the other on his hip. You couldn’t see his face. _Was he really…? No. Don’t be stupid.  
_“Nothing.”  
“(Y/N)…” There was a warning in the growl. A warning that said _Don’t lie to me._  
“It doesn’t matter. You don’t care anyway.” Any caution was thrown to the wind. You just had to get away. You couldn’t deal with him right now. You needed to be alone.  
“I care if you’re going to be moping about more than usual. You bring the mood down.” Dismissive as always. You stepped back up to the console, leaning against it and staring at the complicated controls.  
“Sorry if I’m not super enthusiastic about being kidnapped by an insane Time Lord,” You huffed. Or tried to. On the final words of the sentence, your throat tightened, and they became choked. Tears began to form again as the text message swirled around your mind.  
“Ugh, don’t tell me you’re crying,” He groaned, having looked across at the failure of your voice, “You haven’t cried once since you got here.”  
“It’s not you.” You might have shouted at him if you’d had the energy. You nodded at your bag, not trusting yourself to say any more. He sighed in irritation at your attitude but crossed the room and picked it up. “Phone.” Barely a whisper. He reached inside.  
“Password.”  
“1748.” The day you met the Doctor. Sentimental. He unlocked it. The messages app was still open. You couldn’t look as he read the texts. It was all you could do to keep the fragile strands of composure together.  
“Oh.” And that word, that tiny, meaningless word… it made it real. And it broke you. Pain flooded from you like a tidal wave. Your body shook as you sobbed, as you clung at yourself, pulled at your clothes, at your hair, as you fell apart in front of him. Whatever embarrassment you felt was overwhelmed by the raw emotions that tore at your insides. Your sorrow, your grief, your anger, your loneliness. The Master could have been doing cartwheels and you wouldn’t have noticed. You didn’t want him to see you like this. You went to hurry past him, down the stairs and into the bowels of the TARDIS, but he caught your arm, stopping you in your tracks. His grip was tight, but it didn’t hurt. Maybe you were just numb.  
“Look, just leave me alone.” They were barely words, more ragged gasps between sobs. He pulled you forward and stood in front of you, taking hold of your arms and keeping you in place.  
“Stop crying.” You couldn’t. You gasped for breath, for peace, but the tears wouldn’t stop. You couldn’t control it. “Stop.” Maybe it was the tightness of his grip, or some weird Time Lord magic, or just the sound of his voice, but with a few gulps, you managed to contain yourself. Tears still ran down your cheeks, but your breathing steadied and you could actually see him now. If you didn’t know any better you’d say he looked concerned. “ _He_ is not worth your tears. He’s human, an insignificant, stupid little human. He doesn’t matter.” You wiped away a tear with your sleeve, chuckling weakly.  
“I mean, I am also an insignificant, stupid little human.” He shook his head, laughing under his breath, making you frown.  
“You might be human, but you’re far different from any of that lot.” He pulled away from you – almost like he was embarrassed.  
“Doesn’t seem like it. The Doctor left me, you hate me, and here I am crying over a guy who…” You had to stop yourself from speaking as the pain started to build up again.  
“Get over him. And get over yourself.” He was pacing, circling the console while you stood, hunched, tear-stained. “Do you really think I would let just anyone travel with me?”  
“I thought we were looking for the Doctor?” You began walking in the other direction. You met him after a few steps, seemingly surprising him. He avoided your eyes.  
“We are… the long way.”  
“Why?” The fear that you had felt for so long was slowly starting to disappear as you realised the Master maybe wasn’t as cruel and heartless as you thought.  
“Don’t push me.” He attempted to step around you to get to the console but you stopped him.  
“Why the long way?”  
“Because for some reason…” He groaned, frustrated, and ran a hand through his already tangled hair. “I like you. I like your company. Turns out I prefer it over being alone.”  
“I’m flattered.” You smiled weakly. The pain was still there, the anger, but you pushed it away. For him.  
“Don’t. You’re still my prisoner. I just happen to also not hate you.”  
“I can live with that.” You grin. “So…”  
“So?”  
“What now? Where are we off to?” You walked to one of the screens, despite knowing you wouldn’t be able to read the information on it, and pulled it closer to you. In the reflection you saw the Master approach, leaning over the shoulder. You were hyperaware of his presence, of the space between your bodies. But you weren’t scared.  
“Anywhere you want.” His voice was low, enticing. You turned, starting slightly at just how close he was, but not backing off.  
“Anywhere?”  
“Anywhere.” You considered the offer, imagining all the places, all the times you could go, all the things you could see.  
“Take me…” Your eyes were locked on his. “Take me somewhere beautiful.”  
“Somewhere beautiful it is.” He stepped closer, his chest against yours, making you look up at him, and he reached around you, pulling a lever on the console, jolting the TARDIS to life.

Time for a new adventure.


	2. Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trying to move on isn't always easy.

The Master had taken you all across the universe, from supernovas to black holes, planets full of vibrant flowers and waterfalls miles high. It was beautiful, like he promised. And while you were there, you hardly stopped smiling, stopped laughing. For all his faults, the Master knew how to cheer you up. Or so it seemed. You were fine. You were over it. You didn’t even think about your ex. Except for when the adventures stopped, when you went to bed, when the silence of the artificial night enveloped you and left you alone with your thoughts. Then you were consumed by his face, by the memory of his voice, his hands, his lips, the time you spent together. Nothing should be able to overshadow the places you were going, the things you were seeing – but he did.

You supposed you could have gone and spoken to the Master. You weren’t actually sure if he slept – he was always in the console room when you left and still there when you returned. And you knew he would have distracted you from the constant images that fluttered out of control and kept you from rest. But you couldn’t ask him for help. That would mean admitting that whatever the two of you had was no longer a reluctant duo bound by fear and revenge, but rather a strange friendship.

But you didn’t have to tell him. He noticed. Your lack of sleep, your distracted mind, the slow pain seeping from your subconscious, began to leech into the days. You no longer beamed upon seeing sculptures of living ice, didn’t run for joy through ancient alien cities. Instead, you dragged your feet, gave smiles more for his sake than your own, closed yourself off.

The Master wouldn’t accept it. At first, he tried to make the adventures bigger, bolder, to fill you up with adrenaline, to force you to forget him. But it didn’t work. All it did was exhaust you, leaving you more vulnerable to the treachery of your mind.

So he came up with a new plan.

“Don’t you want to know where we’re going today?” The Master was bent over the console, facing away from you. The interior of the TARDIS had changed, now looking like a cluttered house made up of one room, with the console pushed up towards one end – you had no idea where it had come from, but you didn’t hate it. In fact, you were hugely appreciative of the old, comfy sofa that came with it, as you were now curled up in a corner of it with a book in your hand. You weren’t reading it, simply staring at the pages. It took you a moment to register that he was speaking to you.  
“Yeah, sure.” He glanced over his shoulder, prompting you to actually ask the question. “Where are we going?”   
“It’s a surprise.” He grinned and laughed at his own contrariness while you simply rolled your eyes. Still, a small smile managed to grace your face at his antics. The unread book abandoned on the floor beside you, you stood up to join him.   
“When do we get to the surprise?” You watched his hands as they darted across the controls. Something about them…   
“Right now.” He jolted your attention back to you as the TARDIS landed with a thud and a groan. You stumbled on your feet at the sudden movement, or maybe lack of movement, and the Master’s hand automatically grabbed your arm to steady you. It lingered a moment, the two of you looking at each other. You could stare into his eyes forever. Wide, dark, almost gentle, revealing nothing of the monster you knew was behind them. _No. Don’t do that to yourself._ You shook your head, shook away whatever thoughts were brewing, and pulled back from him. He ran to the doors, struggling to contain his excitement, and stood waiting for you to follow. You did so begrudgingly, trying to be excited when all you wanted was your bed. “On you go.” He opened the door for you dramatically and you stepped through, one hand still on the doorframe.

_It can’t be._

But it was. You’re boyfriends flat. _Ex_ -boyfriend’s flat. Somewhere that had once been so familiar, now so alien to you. You stepped through it, noticing that the TARDIS had shifted to become a door in the wall. The chameleon circuit would never cease to amaze you.   
There were still traces of you there. Photos, the cushions you had bought him, a blanket that had been yours. The kitchen was clear of dishes, neat and tidy. No half-drunk bottles of beer, no empty pizza boxes. The door to the bedroom was open. A pair of heels were left by the bed. Not yours. Had he really moved on already? Then again, you had no idea how long it had been. So you asked.  
“When are we?” You turned to see the Master leaning against the door to the TARDIS, one ankle behind the other, suave as ever. He was watching you carefully, trying to gauge your reaction, but you gave nothing away.  
“A week after… well, you know.” He was suddenly awkward. Trying to be considerate. It didn’t suit him.

A week. Only a week and he had moved on. He was done. Happy. And here you were, living a dream, gallivanting around the universe, and still, you couldn’t let go of him.   
“Why did you bring me here?”  
“You need to get over him.” The Master had joined you in the centre of the room, hands deep in his pockets. “Here.” He handed you something: a device that you didn’t recognise, metal with dials and switches.  
“What is this?”  
“TCE.” When you stare at him blankly he continues. “Tissue Compression Eliminator. Basically a shrinking device.”  
“What am I supposed to do with it?” Your mind was stuttering over your attempts to figure it out. You knew the answer was obvious, but you couldn’t see it through everything else in your mind.   
“Well, my thinking was,” He stepped behind you, his front pressed against your back, and took a hold of your arms. This time his presence wasn’t comforting. It was stifling. Terrifying. One wrong move and… “He’ll get home, and you can get your revenge. The last thing he ever sees will be your face and then – nothing.” You could feel his grin, could hear the pure ecstasy in his voice that he was trying to contain for your sake.

_Could you do it?_ Could you kill him? You had sacrificed so much for him, given all of yourself, all your heart, and mind, and soul, and body. Everything for him. And he had gotten rid of you. Pushed you off a cliff without a second thought and moved on. Not caring about the destruction left behind him. The shattered debris of your relationship meaningless.

But…

But…

But you couldn’t. Couldn’t kill him. Because it wouldn’t stop the pain. It wasn’t him that made you ache. It was everything else. The memories. The ghosts of smiles. The imprint of his touch on your skin. His voice in your mind, telling you how beautiful you were, how smart, how funny. Telling you he loved you. His death wouldn’t change that.

You stepped away, dropping the TCE. You didn’t feel present as you walked to the kitchen cupboards. It was like you were a ghost. You supposed that’s all you were here. In this place where you had spent so much time. You were just a memory.   
“What?” There was a slight exasperation in his voice. The Master never did understand humans. You opened the cupboard where you knew they would be. Two mugs: His and Hers. Cliché, cheesy, adorable. One in each hand you looked at them. You supposed your relationship could be summed up in them. Two pieces of fragile ceramic.

With a sob you threw his at the wall, breaking it into pieces. Yours quickly followed and you fell to your knees, not caring that the jagged shards of the mugs were digging into your knees, numb to the pain. You were shaking, your breathing ragged, chest heaving. When you felt hands on your shoulders you lashed out, but the Master caught your hand easily. He lifted you by your wrist and you didn’t fight him. He was holding you again, this time more gently than you could have imagined he was capable. Guiding you back into the TARDIS he sat you down before returning to the doors and closing them. You stared at your hands while he took the TARDIS into flight. There was blood on them. Must be from your knees. You knew it should hurt, but you couldn’t feel whatever pain there was. The Master appeared in your field of vision, kneeling in front of you, forcing you to look at those big, brown eyes. When his hand brushed yours you flinched away.   
“Let me.” He ordered you, voice authoritative, yet comforting. You did as he said. He examined your knees, the cuts, the blood. He began to clean them, clinically, methodically. You watched him as he did so. _Those hands_. Hands that had brought death and destruction to countless people, that had burned planets, that had hurt so many. Hands that held yours as though you might break. Hands that fixed you. When he was finished he went to move back, to give you space, but you clung to him. _Just a weak human. A weak fragile human._ But maybe, just maybe, he didn’t mind. And he didn’t let go. “(Y/N)…”  
“I hate him. But I don’t. But I wish I did. He isn’t worth all this. But…”  
“Shush.”  
“But I -”  
“No. Stop talking and listen.” His eyes were locked on yours. His face serious. It was almost scary. “I’m sorry.”  
“What?”  
“What did I just say?” He growled, taking his hands back and standing before you.  
“Sorry.” You slumped back against the cushions.   
“I… I didn’t understand. You humans, you’re all so… simple, lives so short, meaningless.”  
“Thanks.” You muttered. He gives you a look but doesn’t say anything.   
“But you…” He seemed to struggle to find the words. “What do you know about me and the Doctor?” You shrugged, shaking your head.  
“Not much. You’ve known each other since you were children. You’ve got a… complicated relationship.”  
“That’s one word for it.” You both chuckled and he sat beside you. “She broke my hearts. So many times.” His voice shook slightly, and you reached out a hand hesitantly to rest it on his knee. “And I hate her. She makes me so angry. But I can’t stop chasing her. Because it doesn’t matter how she feels about me, if she hates me or loves me, as long as she notices me.” His hand was on yours. You didn’t know what to say.

“Love is awful.” You say it more to yourself than to him.   
“Love isn’t awful. It’s what it takes from you that hurts.”   
“Very insightful.”  
“I am thousands of years old, love.” You looked up at the pet name. He was watching you carefully.   
“And yet you still think the best way to get over someone is to kill them, or their friends, or blow something up.” Your words might have been a bit harsh, but you hoped your smile would let him know you weren’t being serious.   
“And what would you suggest?”   
“Because I am the most obvious expert in moving on?” You laughed.   
He stood, going to a freezer in the corner of the room. Something so human, next to him; the juxtaposition made you smile. “You know, I heard ice cream helps.”   
“Are you serious?” You were at his side in an instant as he pulled out a tub. “Who knew the great, evil Master could be so…”  
“Sweet?”  
“Human.” He scrunched his nose up at the word and you giggled, taking the tub from him.   
“Don’t you dare call me that again.”  
“What are you gonna do about it?” He walked past you, spoons in hand, and opened the doors, revealing a beautiful view into space. He sat with his legs hanging out and you joined him.   
“Don’t try me.” He growled. Sure, it was still menacing. He was still dangerous, and you wouldn’t ever feel entirely safe around him. But you couldn’t be too scared when you were sitting eating ice cream with him. “I could push you out of here right now.”  
“Nah, you wouldn’t do that.”  
“Why not?”  
“You like me.”  
“That’s almost worse than being called ‘human’.”  
“Don’t deny it.” You nudged him teasingly. He said your name, just your name, and when you turned he was staring at you. Dark eyes examining you, your face. Your grin fell, lips parted, and you stared right back. There was something. Something in the silence between you that should have been uncomfortable, but wasn’t.

“I pushed you too much.” And like that, it was broken, and those beautiful eyes left yours to look back into the infinite distance. “Humans need time.”  
“You’ve had plenty of time.”  
“I’m not human.”  
“No, you’re a _Time Lord_ ,” You said mockingly, teasingly. “Look, I’ll get there. But I can’t force it.” You let your mind wander, trying not to think. “Maybe I should just go and kiss as many strangers as possible. Get rid of him.”  
“No.” His voice was sudden, abrupt, interrupting you.  
“No?”  
“No. Don’t do that.” He sounded angry. With you? But why would that be the thing to set him off?  
“I’m just joking. Don’t worry.”

You had a thought. Just a thought. A risky thought. But worth the risk. You shuffled closer, just an inch, so that your swinging legs were pressed together, and rested your head on his shoulder. You felt him sigh.

And you stayed like that, staring out into the stars.

**Author's Note:**

> might do another part or make this a series, if anyone would be interested :)


End file.
